My name is Dianne and I suffer from Mom guilt.
I didn’t even know this was a thing until after I became a parent. I’ve come to learn that it happens to every Mom* and we all deal with it differently.
*Note: I say “Mom” because I don’t know if Dads have Dad guilt. Is this a thing? If so, let me know!
Stupid Mom Guilt!
Mom guilt is tough. I feel guilty because I had a lot of trouble breastfeeding so I eventually gave up. I feel guilty every time I get frustrated with my toddler because I know sometimes he’s still too young to understand what he’s doing is wrong. I feel guilty when I ask for some “Me Time,” because I feel like it seems as thought I don’t want to spend time with my family. I feel guilty for working full time, even though I really enjoy my job. I feel guilty for not wanting to be a stay-at-home Mom when I hear others speak so fondly about how they love spending 24/7 with their kids, and I feel guilty that I don’t feel I have the right personality type for that. I feel guilty when I put on the TV for my son because I’m just too exhausted to play some nights, and then justify it because I know he gets no screen time at daycare. I feel guilty that I miss my pre-baby body. And that’s just a few things I struggle with.
Here’s the thing…
This is normal. It sucks, but all Moms feel it. It’s hard to push it to the side sometimes but we have to.
We are GREAT moms!
We are doing the BEST we can!
Sometimes I think this is one of the best compliments a mom can ever receive.
“You’re doing a great job.”
Your child is going to survive if you give them the occasional processed food, throw the iPad or TV on for an hour while you relax, or when they get so spend some time with someone other than you or Daddy.
I need “me time” for my mental health. Seriously. I am a better Mom when I get some time to myself during the week. It took me awhile to come to this realization as when my son was a baby I had a hard time leaving him. When he went on his first sleepover at seven months old I don’t think I actually slept well that night because I was so paranoid. Worries about SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) and accidents happening while I wasn’t there consumed me. But as time went on it started to get slightly easier. I still worry, but I don’t let myself obsess over it.
Whether it’s to simply take a bath, blog, clean the house, do some errands, or simply sit on the couch and watch Netflix, I need a few hours to myself every week to stay sane. And I’m not talking about nap time (which doesn’t happen anymore since our toddler decided he was done with naps two months ago) or after bed time. I’m taking about quality time by myself when the house is empty and it’s only me. Every time it happens or I ask for it, I feel guilty. But by the end of it I feel so much better. I consider myself lucky to have a husband that helps to make sure I get some “me time” each week, as I know some Moms who don’t get it and I honestly don’t know how they do it.
So I encourage you if you can, especially this weekend where we should be extra thankful, to take a few hours every week to spend some time with yourself. Re-charge, re-energize, and push that Mom guilt aside for just a few hours and enjoy your moments of peace. I can almost promise you you’ll feel better afterward!
Happy Thanksgiving from my family to yours.